Wanna Grab Some Coffee With Me?

This topic has been brewing in my thoughts for about a month now. My heart has been heavy and my head has even been spinning at times…can we talk about a tough topic today? Can we talk about addiction? Can we talk about something that consumes the lives of pretty much everybody? Can we talk about how this addiction effects your social life when this addiction is all about socializing?

Let’s talk about Social Media…Specifically Facebook. 

I have a couple questions that someone needs to help me out with here.

WHY does there have to be a fancy announcement when someone has decided they are stepping away from the Facebook world for awhile? WHY is it such a big deal? So many times I have seen someone post this lengthy status stating that they are deactivating their Facebook and they give a thousand and one reasons why they are making this “tough” decision. GOOD LORD ALMIGHTY, deactivate your Facebook and find a real “tough” decision in your life. Seriously, why has Facebook become that big of a deal where you have to notify everyone that you are leaving the “club”. Just silently remove yourself.

I have mentioned this question to people before and the answers I have gotten are, “well I just let everyone know so no one thinks I un-friended them.” or “I just want my out of town family to know.” or ” I just felt like everyone should know.” My response to this is call your grandma that lives 5 states away (she may appreciate the phone call anyway), not everyone really truly has to know and really if someone makes a big deal out of being “un-friended” from a social network created by a little nerdy kid then that’s their problem. I think that if someone gets upset over being possibly un-friended then that is the gist of your friendship. I think that if you socialize in person, on the phone…you know like the way it should be…then who cares if you are on facebook, off facebook,still rockin’ a Xanga or not friends with certain people on any social media. Ultimately…it doesn’t matter if you are on or off of Facebook as long as you are making a TRUE and REAL social life for yourself then hop off that computer without any fancy announcement.

Here’s another question.

WHY don’t you look at me anymore? 

Ok. We have all been in this position. When you are trying to have a conversation with someone who is staring down at their phone and going “uh huh. yup. ok” the whole time. I have personally been guilty of doing this and it makes me sick to my stomach, but I have become more and more aware of it the more it happens to me!! I have had a whole entire conversation with someone (more than one time) who stared at their phone or computer the whole entire conversation. And what were they doing? They were on Facebook! Everyone always comments about how the teenagers have their noses in their phones all the time, which is true, but most of my experiences have been with adults. I mean adult as in 40 + year olds. Yes. I am serious. These people have the opportunity to look up and have a real life conversation and they choose to stick to the fake socializing. I can’t even wrap my head around that! So think about that the  next time someone is talking to you. Are you listening? Are you looking at them? 

Next question.

WHY do you have to talk to “Bob” through your status? 

The other problem I have come across is posting your status to make a point to someone specific. PLEASE. JUST. STOP. Please stop posting a quote from Pinterest or a status that specifically has to do with “Bob” and you are just hoping “Bob” gets the point. TALK TO BOB! TALK TO BOB DIRECTLY! Tell Bob how you are offended, hurt or whatever you are! Because here is how the problem gets worse…you post a vague status…in example:

“I just wish some people would understand how to be a true friend.”

Your poor innocent grand mother comments and says, “Oh, hunny, what’s wrong?”

Your reply, “Oh nothing.” or “I can’t say on here” or  “private message me and i’ll tell you about it.”

WHAT? This now either leaves your poor grandma confused, thinking you have lost your mind or leaving her to have to figure out how in the world to send you a private message. Poor. Grandma.

Next question.

WHY are we not lifting each other up? 

The next issue is how many grown up people (again 40 + years old) I have been seeing posting gossip, hurtful things, slander and being just down right immature. People I look up to. People I respect. People my parents age!!! Most of the time I am totally SHOCKED by what some of these people post. Shocked by their open thoughts just pouring out on their keyboards for all the Facebook world to see. Commenting on peoples “pouring thoughts status'” and starting petty debates and giving each other a pat on the back!

Elders of mine, In all do respect, I am 23 years old and I see that there is a problem. Why don’t you see this problem? Be an example. To your kids, to your students, to your grand kids, to your peers, to your friends….most of all honor God in ALL that you do. Something I think about before I post a status on Facebook is…”is it helpful?” “does this put anyone down in any way?” “is this God honoring?” “Am I glorifying my God in all that i do AND say?”

PLEASE. think about these things. This goes for everyone, but unfortunately I see this problem more in the adults I am Facebook friends with than anyone else! Let’s lift each other up, not bring people down.

So there it is. My stirring thoughts for the past month. I just poured my open thoughts on my keyboard! hah! But let me tell you why…because I am tired of the social media taking over our friendships, our social life, our world!! Everyone is way too consumed in it! Go grab a coffee with someone instead of commenting on their status, go out for a girls night instead of making a group private message, go sit down with a dear friend and ask them what their status in life is, pray with a friend, encourage a friend.

Stop considering your social life a comment or a thumbs up.

So I guess my final question is…

Wanna grab some coffee with me? 🙂 

Soak In The Snow Days

Michigan. The place where the sun shines when you least expect it, it rains with no clouds in the sky and snows 5 years worth of snow in 2 weeks. Yup. Welcome to Michigan. Our frozen tundra.

 

This frozen, icy, snowy and freezing world we are current living in is causing several snow days for kids in schools. This doesn’t effect me personally because my kids are young, but I do notice a lot of moms feeling effected by their kids being home who typically are not home during the day.

Before I say anything else, I’ll say this. No, I do not totally completely get it because I am not in your situation with school ages kids, but just hear me out…

 

 

 

 

I am home with my little ones 24/7. In fact not only am I home, but we are also a one car family which means when my hubby is at work I am home with the kids with no way to get anywhere even if I wanted to.

There are days where I want to rip my hair out. Moments where I almost throw the cat out the front door because I’m so tired of tantrums, bickering and crying that I have to send someone out of the house in anger and it won’t be my kids. So the poor cat gets voted out.

 

 

 

So. I get that. That feeling of not knowing what to do with them, running out of creative ideas to keep them busy and feeling totally trapped

 

Now take a moment and think several years down the road. To the day when your kids are all in college. Having their snow days away in another state.

OR

When they are all married with kids and they have their own snow days to deal with.

OR

Even to the day when they go back to school after all these snow days (whenever that may be).

There will be a day where you won’t get those special days with your kids. They will be sitting in a dorm somewhere on a snow day thinking back to those days they had snow days at home.

What do you think they will think about?

Someday they will be sitting in their own home with their own family and their own kids on a snow day. Reaching the point of complete desperation when they stop and think.

What do you think they will think about?

I know for me, personally. I hope my kids will think about the creative things we did together. How much time I spent with them because I didn’t usually get that opportunity to be with them during the day.

 

I hope they look back and see a mom who celebrated a snow day with them.

Not grumbled and complained because I didn’t want my kids around all day.

 

 

 

I don’t want my kids to ever feel like I don’t want them around.

These times are precious.

Right now I am soaking up every little moment with my little ones. Knowing that someday they will be in school. Every day. All day. I won’t get these special moments back.

 

 

Soak in the snow days.

 

Remind them of how special they are.
Tell them how much they are so loved.
You don’t HAVE to be super mom and have a special activity for them to do every split second.
Just spend TIME with them.

Just. Be.

 

 

 

 

Remember I get it that days can get long. It can get challenging. But eventually they will go back to school.
  What will you see when you look back at those snow days?

 

 

The TIME you were given?
The TIME God gave you! 

He gave YOU TIME!

TIME with your beautiful kids who God has blessed you with.

OR

How aggravated you were the whole time your kids sat right in front of you for days and you didn’t take the TIME you were given with them?
And you chose to take that TIME to tell the world of Facebook how aggravated you were…

This is your TIME.
Your TIME to be their mom at a time of the day you are not used to having them…
Soak it in. Because in a *blink* you will be out of that time…

When She Needs Your Help

Today I had a moment where I wished time would have just stopped. It was a moment where I almost pretended it was moving in slow motion. I found myself savoring the moment. Letting is soak in. Reflecting on the beauty of it. It was a moment that happens about 20 times a day. But every time that moment comes, I either rush through it like I am competing to win a race or I find myself frustrated over the moment. A precious moment I wont have forever.

  That moment when my child asks for help…

My daughter loves to stand on a chair at the kitchen counter and watch me make dinner. It is the same routine at 4:30 PM every day. I tell her I am making dinner she says, “I get a chair!” Runs as fast as her little legs can go and starts trying to drag the kitchen chair that is 4 times the size of her over to where I am preparing dinner. Every time she struggles to move that big chair and she cries out, “I need help!”

There are many moments we are rushing around the house trying to get everyone ready to leave the house by a certain time and I send my daughter to go find herself a pare of socks. She finds the socks, whether they are matching or not and I instruct her to put the socks on so we can go. Sometimes she figures out how to do it, but sometimes she struggles a little and cries out, “I need help!”

Today was a very familiar moment. The moment where my little one stood at the bottom of the front porch stairs and said to me, “Mommy, I need help.” At this moment I always have my arms full with a heavy car seat, diaper bag, purse and any toys she decided to drag into the car when we left the house earlier that day. My response to her typically is, “You know how. Hold the railing and take it slow.” But today when she cried out for my help I turned around and saw her little face peeking out from her over sized winter hat. I saw her big blue eyes longing for her mommy’s help. I noticed how tiny she was. How so incredibly small she is compared to this great big world she lives in.

I set my stuff down on the porch and walked down the stairs to her. As I held my hand out I saw that tiny, precious little hand grab mine and she lifted her feet in her little brown boots and slowly took one step at a time as she climbed those stairs. We reached the top and she looked at me with a big grin and said, “I did it! Thank you Mommy!”

My heart was burning with love for her, but was also aching as I thought about those moments when I didn’t embrace that precious moment right in front of me.  That moment where my child needed me. When she need my help and I didn’t give it to her.

Those times where she wanted a chair so she could watch me make dinner and I either told her, “No chair today, mommy is in a hurry” in fear that she would slow me down in getting dinner ready or I would show irritation as I grabbed the chair unwillingly and placed it next to me in the kitchen.

Those times where she couldn’t get her socks on her little feet and wanted help and I didn’t consider for one second how some things are still so new to her. How things that are so easy for me are not easy for her.

Those times where I have missed my opportunity to hold her tiny hand and help her up the stairs. I have missed so many of those moments.
My child wanted to hold my hand and trusted me to help her reach the top of those stairs safely.

How much longer will she need my help doing that? 

How much longer until she can put her own socks on?

How much longer will she even want to stand on a chair and watch mommy make dinner?

All I know is that I am missing those moments because I am in such a hurry all the time. For what you might ask? Nothing that is more important than my child and making memories with her.

Step back. Take a deep breathe. Let it all soak in. Embrace it. Those moments where we are rushing through life so quickly all the time that we don’t take the time to stop and realize how precious they are. We don’t think about how they won’t last forever. We think that we always have tomorrow to make memories.

But who are we to be so sure of that? 

Next time I hear “I need help”, my first response is to stop. Look at my beautiful daughter. Look at her big blue eyes staring back at me. Soak it all in and willingly help her.

I am going to grab that little hand every time it is offered to me and I am going to hold it so tight. I never want my daughter to doubt for one moment that I am always there when she needs me. No matter what. I am always there to hold her hand. She can trust me enough to ask me for her help.

I am her mommy forever, but she will not always be that little 2 year old saying, “Mommy. I need help!”

So what will I do next time she needs my help? I’ll offer it…

Dear Daughter…

For the past week I have been thinking a lot about the life that my children will live. I pray daily that they will love their Heavenly Father and glorify God in all that they do. I even pray for their future spouses. That God will bless them with a Godly marriage with Christ as the foundation.

As I thought a lot about this lately I find myself concerned for my children. This world is full of so much evil and my heart aches just thinking about them finding themselves part of the evil of this world.

Lord please protect my little ones! 

I have a journal that I write in every so often. It is filled with letters to my 2 year old daughter, Jaylin. I started writing in it when I was 38 weeks pregnant with her (just a few days before she entered this world). Someday I will share this journal with her and I hope she cherishes it like I cherish the memories that I share in the book.

I want to share with you a letter that I have been mentally writing. 🙂 I have prayed for God to give me the right words to say and it’s time to write it out and add it into her journal…

My dearest Jaylin,

I am so blessed to have you in my life. God chose me to be your mommy and I couldn’t be more thankful that he did. My sweet girl, I pray for you. I pray for you daily that you will grow up to be a Godly woman and Lord willing, a Godly wife and mother. I pray for the man that God has already chosen for you to marry. If marriage is in your future then God already knows who you will love, cherish and grow old with.

Mommy was watching a show on TV the other day called The Bachelorette. This show is a perfect example of what God did NOT intend for the process leading into marriage.

1 Girl…25 men…all fighting for her love.

I pray someday a man does fight for you. I pray he has to fight so hard to find you because your heart is so hidden in Christ.

I watch this show and see such heartbreak, such dishonesty, such betrayal, such hatred, such anger…

25 sinners fighting for one sinners love.

On this show I see exactly the type of man I pray you do not end up with. I hope if a man even close to being like any of these men is dropped kicked the moment he comes near you.

As I watch this show I find myself coming up with a few points I want to share with you and I pray and pray that you will remember these and take these to heart:

1. You are SO deserving 

I know your dad would say that no man is good enough to deserve you, which is absolutely true, but listen to me, sweet girl…YOU are deserving of someone wonderful, YOU are deserving of someone great, YOU are deserving of a Godly man that treats you with respect and has a crazy unconditional love for you.

Wait for this man. Wait for the man that loves you so deeply and strives for that Christ centered marriage that is so important.

Mommy wishes that she protected her heart for Daddy. Mommy wishes that she wasn’t so broken by so many men by the time she reached the man God intended for her…which was your Daddy.

You never know if a man you THINK is the “one” could possibly be intended to be someones future husband. Be careful my love. Be so incredibly careful and guard that little precious heart of yours.

2. You are worth something 

I’m not talking about how much money you are worth, although there really is no price big enough to put on you. What I mean by this is that there may be times in your life when a boy makes you feel worthless. That can happen so easily. I pray this never ever happens to you, but if it does and you find yourself listening to Satan’s lie telling you that you are worthless, you tell Satan to take a hike back to hell in the name of Jesus!

YOU are worth something! You are AMAZING. You are INCREDIBLE. You are BEAUTIFUL. You are SO SO SOOOOOO LOVED by God, Mommy, Daddy, your brother, all your family and friends!! Never forget that!

3. Your heart doesn’t need to break  

There may be a time in your life when a boy “breaks your heart” . Let me tell you something. Your heart cannot break if you guard it and let God be your first priority when it comes to who you love.

Proverbs 4:23 says, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” 

Put God first in your life and guard your heart. This verse couldn’t be more true that it truly does determine the course your life will take.

I hope the course your life takes leads to Christ.

4. You will end up with a bad boy no matter what

This is kinda a silly title for this point, but what I mean by this is I can promise you that you will end up marrying a sinner. You will not find a perfect man out there.

But, you can find a Godly man. Still a sinner, but still a man who loves God more than anything in his life. I pray so often for this man that right now his parents are raising him in a Godly home and his father is an incredible example of what a Godly husband and father is.

Also, that his mother is an example of a Godly wife and mother and shows him what his desires should be for his future bride.

I also pray that I am that example to you. I pray that I am that Godly wife and mother that sets an example to you. I pray that your Daddy is an example of the kind of man you want to spend your life with, because let me tell you, your Daddy is an incredible man and I would LOVE it if God blessed you with a man as great as he is.

5. Finally…

God loves you, Jaylin. He has such a wonderful plan for your life and I hope you can trust that plan He has for your life no matter what.

There may be a time where God’s plan doesn’t make any sense to you and you wonder why some events happen in your life. I wish I could explain to you why bad things happen sometimes, but I can’t. All I can tell you is to remember what James 1:2-4 says,

“Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.”

Those times in your life where you don’t know where to turn, you don’t know how to face them, you don’t know what to do and you feel like things are falling apart. Remember to consider the trial a gift. A joy. I know this sounds like a challenge and it is, but how you handle the trial portrays the person you are. Allow trials to do their work in you. Allow them to help you grow in your relationship with Christ.

Turn to your Heavenly Father in these times and seek HIM through prayer and His word to find your strength.

In addition to this, know that your daddy and I are ALWAYS there for you not matter what. You will always be our baby girl and we will always and forever love you no matter what! Never be afraid to come to us with anything you are struggling with. Daddy and I both know how hard life can be and we never want you to hesitate to come to us with anything.

Mommy and Daddy will continue praying for you daily in all of these ways. I know you are only 2 years old right now and there are not many worries in your little life right now, but someday you will face many challenges and I am praying for you now that God is first in your life and you always seek HIM.

You are a precious gift, Jaylin. I wish you could just stay 2 years old forever, but I know you must grow up eventually. But for now, I am going to tuck this letter away into your journal and share it with you when you are much older and can understand these words.

For now, we will just have your only worries in this world to be where your paci is and whether or not you get a cookie after lunch.

I love you, Jaylin. More than words could ever say!

Love,

Mommy

Another special man I know…

I very much enjoyed the blog I wrote for my dad on Father’s day. It was such a great way for me to reflect on who he is. So I would like to do the same for my husband today. Because today marks a special day, his birthday! 🙂

I want to tell you today about another special man in my life….

A man who God chose for me

A man that understands the great love you feel when someone adopts you into their life and calls you their own

A man that took a hard journey in his life, but now carries a beautiful testimony of God’s grace and mercy

A man who ran away from God, but God continued to love him with a crazy love

A man who fell in love with a girl and made her is wife

A man who’s eyes were opened to see how great his God really is

A man who became the husband his wife had always prayed for.

A man who became a father and raises his children to honor God

A daddy who loves to make his little boy smile

A man who is the Godly leader in his home

A man who has a crazy passion to worship and serve his God

A man with a servants heart

A husband who loves a true and selfless love

A daddy who takes time with his kids

A daddy who loves to sneak into his daughters room late at night just to steal one more hug and kiss

A husband who stays up at night with a newborn so that his wife can sleep

A husband who tells his wife how beautiful she is

A daddy who is protective of his little ones

A husband who is protective of his wife

A man who is a hard worker

A man who is an awesome cook

A man who is a gift from God to my family

A man who reflects my own father in many ways

A man who I shed tears over because I have such a crazy love for him

A husband who is beyond the most handsome guy I know

A man who is absolutely one of the funniest guys I know!

A man who is a shoulder to cry on

A man who encourages and supports

A man who is the best snuggler

A man who is one of the most intelligent guys I know!

A man who is a daddy, husband, son, grandson, nephew and son-in-law

A man who is loved so much, by so many!

I love you Matthew, more than anything! You are such a blessing in my life and our children’s life! I am looking forward to many more birthdays together! I love you! Happy Birthday!

A Special Man I Know

Today I want to tell you about a special man I know…

A tender hearted man who would do anything for his family.

A man who married a woman who could not have children and took the journey of adoption with her.

A husband who loves his wife dearly.

A man who, along with his wife, adopted a 17 month baby girl right out of a foster home and a 3 day old baby girl and loved them as their own.

A Daddy who proudly took on the name “Dawoo” given to him by his youngest daughter

A Daddy who could never be trusted getting up in the middle of the night with his baby girls because it always became play time. 

A man with an incredible musical gift.

A man who is absolutely the funniest person I know.

A man who some may call, “Bubba Boo” 

A man who has the most quickest mathematical skills I have ever seen.

A Dad who through much frustration tried his best to teach his daughters math. 

A man who traveled a lot for business, but in return was able to take his family on adventures and vacations of a lifetime.

A man who called his little girls every night while he was away to say goodnight.

A Daddy who tucked his girls in, prayed with them and kissed them goodnight.

A Daddy who could never truly spank his sweet little girls because he is such a tender man.

A man who raised his family to honor God in all that they do.

A man who is one of the most selfless men I know.

A man who hates getting credit for things because he is so humble. 

A man who is a servant.

A man of God. 

A man who was and always will be a beautiful example of what a Godly husband and father is.

A man who would be angry at his children for awful choices, but his anger was nothing but a true love for them.

A man who is merciful. 

A Daddy who showed such unconditional love, grace and mercy to a lost daughter who made a choice to marry without his blessing.

A man who chose to love his son-in-law who did not start out being welcomed into his family.

A man who went through such pain over his daughter getting married without his blessing, but then helped her and her new husband get back on their feet after her husband lost his job.

A man who is now considered by his son-in-law as a close friend.

A pastor who finds such joy in God’s calling for him to lead worship.

A Papau who has a crazy love for his grand kids. 

A Papau who would drop what he is doing and offer a ride to the doctor for his granddaughter.

A man who is absolutely the most generous person I have ever met.

A man who has a tender heart, mercy, grace and love like his own father did.

A Daddy who calls himself a prince to his little princesses.

A man that I often shed tears over because I am so blessed to have him in my life.

A man who I call my prince and my Dad. 

In honor of Fathers Day on Sunday I wanted to let you all know how wonderful my dad is. It all started when I was 3 days old and needed a family and God chose Brian Felten to be my dad. How blessed I am. How incredibly proud I am to be his daughter.

Thank you, dad, for all that you do for me and my family and thank you for raising me in a Godly home and for being a wonderful encouragement, example and dad to my husband as well. You are such a gift.

Happy Father’s Day!

I love you Dawoo.

My Precious Little Sinner

It’s been a little while since I have written on here. Life has been busy with two kids, but I am absolutely loving it! I don’t even really remember what things were like with only one because two kids has become the new normal. 🙂 

This doesn’t mean that there are not challenges at times. My 22 month old daughter is “experimenting” with the terrible two’s stage. I say “experimenting” because I am doing everything in my power to keep that child from completely stepping into that stage. This behavior in her is so hard because she is such a sweet spirited child. Such a loving, caring, gentle little girl that is a little sinner. I see her precious little face when she is crying because she just feels like it and I just want to hug her close because she is experiencing so much change with a new baby in the house and I know it has been an adjustment for her. Don’t get me wrong, she absolutely loves her baby brother. Every minute she is begging me to let her hold him, “Mum! I hold! I hold!” (how do you say no to that???) 

I have really been trying to be very consistent in discipline with her. I refuse to let satan win as my little girl sins. I often find myself praying throughout the day for God to just give me strength to go just one more hour without losing my patience with her. I need to keep reminding myself that she is in a time of her life where my guidance is so important as I teach her right from wrong. God gives me that strength on those days where she tests those terrible two waters every moment of the day. 

Something my husband and I have always had our daughter do when she has disobeyed or done something wrong is to apologize. This started before she started saying any words. So when we would ask her to say that she is sorry, she would just give us a hug. Once she started saying more and more words I started wondering if she really understood what saying sorry really was because she would still just hug us and not say anything. 

Well, just the other day she was sitting in timeout and through her tears she cries out, “MUM! IM SAWY! IM SAWY!” My heart just broke into a million pieces. Those words I had hoped she would learn to say she finally said and of course I found myself giving in to her cuteness. 😉 I stayed strong, but when timeout was over that sweet girl got lots of hugs and kisses. 

Being a mother is hard at times, but can be so rewarding! Those special moments when she crawls up on my lap, puts both her little hands on each side of my face and leans in for a kiss. *sigh* Those are the moments that make all those tough moments worth it! 

So there is my thought of the day. I love being a mommy to these little ones and they are such a blessing to me! 

Thank you, God, for blessing me with these precious little gifts and choosing me to be their mommy. 

 

 

 

Blessings

I’ve realized something today. Something that I really did know, but maybe not as deep as I know today…I am SO incredibly blessed! It has been a beyond incredible realization to come to today.

Let me start by telling you that the past 2 days I have really been down emotionally. Being 9 months pregnant and being home with a very active toddler has been very exhausting on me on all levels.

We have stepped into a new stage the past 2 days. A stage that sooner or later every child reaches. The stage of “lets see how much I can test mommy with my disobedience.”

All I can say after the past 2 days is, “Lord! Bless my own mother for all I put her through!”

Let me first tell you before I continue. God has blessed me with an INCREDIBLE sweet natured child! It is nothing at all that my husband or I have done in raising her, it has everything to do with how God made her! She is SOOOO sweet and such a loving baby girl, but she is also a little sinner and her sinful nature has been kicking into high gear lately. 🙂

So I have been exhausted due to that and due to being 9 months pregnant. I know God has really been testing me lately. I have been tested with my patience, my trust in HIM, controlling my emotions (that’s a hard one with all those crazy hormones), and even being tested in my attitude overall. 

When it comes to my daughter, she is my absolute world! I truly believe that child hung the moon! That’s what makes this new stage in her life so difficult because if I want to raise my child Biblically, then with disobedience comes consequences. I definitely know that I am like my dad when it comes to consequences. I have a tender heart for my baby girl and I look at consequences as “hurting” her. Every time I would punish her I would burst into tears because I felt so horrible!

Is this normal for a new mommy? (I can’t possibly be alone on this one!) 

This is one area where I have had to learn patience. I kept thinking,

“why can’t I just punish her once and she just gets it?!!?? and never disobeys again??!!”

Oh dear, what a silly thing to think. My child is a sinner and that’s just it. It is scary how young this sinful nature shines it’s light, but I have to understand that my child will NEVER be perfect and there will be consequences throughout her whole life. 

Now, this does not mean that I enjoy punishing her whatsoever! But, it does mean that I am coming to a better understanding of why I discipline my child. In Proverbs it says that the Lord disciplines those He loves. 

I discipline my child because i LOVE her!!! 

Proverbs 23:13 says, “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish them with the rod, they will not die.”

This kind of made me smile a little because I am so afraid I am going to permanently damage my child by spanking her. So this was very nice to have the reassurance that my child will not die from a spanking. 🙂 

This is where I have also needed to learn trust. Trust that what God says throughout the whole Bible about discipline is absolutely true. I needed to learn to follow and trust HIS word. 

And of course, like I said, learning to control my emotions when I am trying my best to follow God’s word and discipline my child. I need to figure out how to stop becoming such a basket case every single time. Right now I blame these emotions on my crazy hormones, but as I continue being a mommy I know I need to find a little more strength. And I know that strength will come from no where else but from God. 🙂 

On top of this crazy new stage with my daughter, like I said, I am 9 months pregnant. My due date is next week and this is where I have been tested in EVERYTHING I mentioned earlier.

Patience, trust, emotions and attitude. 

I am soooo ready to be done with this pregnancy. I have never felt so miserable in my life. I cry all the time, I walk about 2 feet and feel like i’m going to pee my pants, I can’t get a good night of sleep, I am pretty sure i haven’t gotten through a whole night without going to bathroom at least 6 times. But with all that being said PRAISE GOD that he has blessed me with the gift to have children. 🙂 I know a lot of people in my life, including my own mother, who could not have children and I think of these people when I just want to complain all day. (doesn’t mean I never complain, i do quite often) But lately it has helped my attitude and what I say in my mind to myself to be more positive. I am so thankful for the gift to carry this precious little one inside of me! God is good! 

So I am going to do my best these next few weeks or days or hours…however long I have left in this pregnancy to just be patient. To trust God’s timing. To hold in my emotions when I go to the bathroom for the 6th time in the night and to just have a more positive attitude. 

Wish me luck! 😉

This is DEFINITELY not easy! I find it much easier to just complain, but I know I don’t have much longer to go and like my wonderful husband has continued to remind me,

“Hunny, just remember you will definitely get that baby out eventually! I can promise you there is an end to it and you will not be carrying him in there forever!” 

Oh that is such a good thing to remind myself all those times I feel like it will never end! 

So going back to my realization that really I came to just today and that is…

I am SO blessed! 

Let me tell you why…

After the past 2 days of being at my worst emotionally I was given the gift, by my incredible in laws, of a break. They came and picked up my daughter yesterday afternoon and kept her over night and I have spent the whole day today just enjoying some “me” time and doing some things I normally don’t get to do. 

My in laws are such a blessing!! 

I had so much time today to reflect and have peaceful moments with God.

That was such a blessing! 

I went and picked up my grandma and took her out for breakfast and had such an encouraging and uplifting conversation with her.

SHE is a blessing! 

I went to the bank and got money out to pay the payment on our home…that never feels like a blessing when I see money like that disappear, until I think about where the money is going. It goes towards our home. The home that we own!

Our HOME is a HUGE blessing! And it is a blessing that we can afford it!

I went home and rested for an hour and a half. I just laid there (hoping to sleep, but didn’t) and just found myself thinking. I was thinking about my sweet girl who has been driving me up the wall the past 2 days. I started thinking about how much I LOVE her! How much JOY she brings to me! 

Her bad moments are completely outweighed by all those special moments where she brings such pure JOY! 

My daughter is such a beautiful blessing to me! 

After I rested today I had this feeling like I wanted to bless my mom. She has been such an encouragement to me the past few days (and my whole life) and I wanted to show her my appreciation for her. So I went to the store and picked out some bright yellow cheerful Gerbera daisies and surprised her at her work with them. 

I am SOOOO beyond blessed to have her for my mom. ❤

And now here I sit at Starbucks downtown Grand Rapids, sharing my thoughts with you and drinking some coffee. 🙂 But let me tell you how I got to Starbucks…

My wonderful husband had me drive to his work (which is also downtown) and he left work for the moment to drop me off at Starbucks so that I didn’t have to park somewhere and walk. Those little things he does to show how much he cares for me just make my heart smile. 

I am SO beyond blessed to be able to call him MY husband! 

This is only the beginning of the blessings in my life. But I am mainly focusing right now on those blessings that really stood out to me today. 🙂 

God knew that I needed this day today.

He knew that I needed a day to rest, reflect and re-focus. 

It has been a marvelous day! But I sure do miss my sweet girl and cannot wait to see her tonight! I’m excited to kiss her chubby little cheeks and tell her I love her! 

Please keep me in your prayers! That I can keep this new focus and new attitude! That I can stay positive through the rest of this pregnancy and that God continues to give me the strength and wisdom when it comes to disciplining my daughter. 

I hope you all are having a wonderful day! If you are in Michigan, I hope you have been enjoying this beautiful spring weather! 

Go reflect on all the blessings in your life and thank God for them today! 

I want to end this post with some photos of my those blessings that God showed me today…

My mother and father in-law 

 

My sweet and precious Nana 

 

 

 

The best mom in the world! 

My beautiful daughter, Jaylin! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The man I call my husband! ❤ Such a handsome guy! I just love him! 

 

 

Casting Your Stones

Today, my heart is heavy. I have a heavy heart towards the hateful conversation on social media. I am sure this talk is being shared in other ways as well, but my focus right now is what I have been seeing on Facebook.

In the past few days I have continually seen friends of mine on Facebook changing their profile picture to the photo that is the color red with an equal symbol. Which stands for marriage equality. Which means they are standing up for gay rights.

I am also seeing friends of mine on Facebook post photos that state that they are against homosexuality.

But the saddest thing I am seeing on Facebook is the persecution between the friends who are for and the friends who are against homosexuality. It makes me absolutely sick to my stomach to see such hate between one another.

Here are few examples of what I have seen:

“All my friends on Facebook that support sin (as seen by your pro-fag profile pictures), I am deleting you.”

“I am so sick of seeing the gay symbol. Yesterday. I unfriended all of them.”

“What you wrote was hate, disgust and corruption in itself. This is judging, rude, and full of hate. Ill give you the curtosy and delete you first.”

I can’t help but think about John 8 in the Bible. The story goes like this…

 ^“At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

“No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

John 8:2-12

My friends,

who are we to judge, hate and bash those who believe something we do not?

Or are sinning differently than we are?

Do I believe that homosexuality is wrong? Absolutely.

Do I have the right to persecute those who think otherwise? Absolutely not!

1 Corinthians 15:14 says,

“Let ALL that you do be done in love.”

The Bible does not say “ALL” to mean EXCEPT when someone believes in something you do not or EXCEPT when someone is in sin. Let ALL that you do be done in love!! This means that we need to love those in sin, love those who don’t believe in what you believe, love those who post a picture supporting gay marriage.

Do you really think “un-friending” someone on Facebook is the answer? Really? 

I hear of many situations in our world today where those FOR homosexuality or the homosexual themselves walk into a church and get the cold shoulder. Just makes me cringe thinking about it. Thinking about the fact that someone in sin (which may I add is ALL of us), a sin that YOU think is far worse than other sins, walks into a church where they could potentially be set free from that sin, gets the cold shoulder and they walk right back outside those church doors.

This is kinda similar to un-friending these people on Facebook. You see that they are following a path that you don’t agree with and you get rid of them. Looking at John 8 and the story of the woman in adultery.

Do you think Jesus would un-friend these people? 

Or do you think He would love them?

What would make YOU (the one who wants to un-friend people) have more of a right in the sin in your own life then THEY (those who are being un-friended) do in their sin?

Let me tell you something that I don’t want to leave unsaid. Homosexuality is wrong. Not because my own personal opinion thinks it is wrong, but because the Bible clearly states that it is wrong and I am a true believer in what the Bible says.

Leviticus 18:22 says, “You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination.”

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 says, “….Neither fornicators, no idolaters, no adulterers, nor HOMOSEXUALS, no sodomites, no thieves, no covetous, no drunkards, no revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the Kingdom of God.” 

I don’t know about you but that is pretty clear to me.

I will stand on what I believe, but I will not bash any of you who do not believe the same as myself. No matter how disappointing it can feel to see fellow Christian friends stand for homosexuality. It is not my place to judge them OR punish them by deleting them out of my life or being hateful towards them.

Instead I am choosing to pray and love everyone. Those for and against homosexuality. That there will be peace between us all, that we can love one another, encourage one another and be Christ to one another.

Some of you may disagree and still think the BEST act is to just start deleting people off Facebook like a crazy person. But, think about it. Satan wants you to persecute these people just as much as Satan wants everyone standing for homosexuality. Both sides of this are following Satan in some way.

Stop throwing stones at each other.

I mean unless you are WITHOUT sin in your own life, then by all means, cast that first stone…..

Scars

“You are worthless.” 

“No one loves you.” 

“You are so fat.”

“You are so ugly.” 

“You have no one who cares about you.” 

“You are a horrible mom and wife.” 

I could continue on with this list for hours if I had the time. These are only a few of the lies Satan has tried to convince me are true. I am sure majority of you have heard these exact same lies. Many of you are completely convinced that these are all true about you. Let me tell you something…THEY ARE ALL LIES!!!

Trust me on this…I am preaching this to myself as well! 

Those lies are so real to us as women and young girls. They are so convincing and feel like a knife stabbing you in the chest sometimes. When I hear those lies in my head I feel sick to my stomach.

One of the worst lies I have been battling with through my second pregnancy is this “Your husband doesn’t love you as much because you’re so huge.”

AH! I hate even typing those words out! All I can continue saying to myself is “SHAME ON YOU FOR THINKING THAT IS TRUE!!!!!” My husband is one of the most caring and loving people I know. He does everything he can to make me feel beautiful and so loved, but Satan does such a good job of blinding me from how much my husband is loving me. It causes me to sit here with tears filling my eyes that I would even think such thoughts for a moment. I know that those lies never come from anything my husband is doing wrong, because he isn’t doing anything wrong and nothing that should make me feel that way! It’s all Satan just wanting to convince me that because of my appearance when i’m pregnant that my husband doesn’t love me as much.

Well I am not saying that I have defeated this lie because it is a constant battle, but I know that Satan can never win with this lie. As much as he tries to, he. will. NOT. win!!!

I have been struggling with lies my whole life. I know all women struggle with lies through their lives, whether they know it or not. There was a time in my life when lies just about ruined me. My freshman year of college was when I let Satan win. I had been dating a guy for 2 years and the relationship was full of a lot of “yuck”! I remember the day so clearly when that relationship ended. It was a phone conversation that led to a break up. It took me no longer than 5 min. to run to my dorm room bathroom and start digging in my bathroom drawers for the sharpest item I could find. As I was digging through those drawers the thoughts running through my mind were “No one will ever care about you.” “No one will ever love you.” “He doesn’t want to be with you because you are ugly.” Satan hadn’t just convinced me of all those horrible lies (and many more of them that I didn’t list here), but he also convinced me that there was only one solution to not feeling that pain anymore and that was to inflict a different kind of pain. A pain that was physical, not emotional…

That is when my journey down hill began. I regularly turned to pulling off the caps of my bobby pins to slit my wrists because that emotional pain was so deep from all those lies that I was SURE that was the only way to make it go away and take my mind off of it. I began smoking because I was convinced by Satan that smoking relieves stress (I know a lot of you believe this, but trust me it isn’t true). I began going to the clubs to dance with men I didn’t know because Satan had convinced me that it was the only way I would feel important by a man ever again. I began making choices that led me to, still today, struggle emotionally over because Satan had convinced me that I was worthless and cheap.

It took me awhile to come out of those lies. I went through biblical counseling for awhile, which was very helpful and really opened my eyes. But most of all I had to get myself to the point of not just realizing, but believing that everything that had led me down that path were from lies! Lies that Satan put into my mind, but I chose to believe.

My point of sharing this all with you is to help you see, more than you may already know, how toxic Satan’s lies are. There is one thing letting those lies convince you, but it is another thing when you let them completely control your life. I was like a puppet being controlled by Satan and his lies. He had so much fun leading me around completely brain washed by him.

Praise God that HE was my ultimate protection from things becoming any worse than they were. Praise God that HE sees me as beautiful and completely worth something! Praise God that HE sees me as someone that is so loved! But most of all praise God that HE opened my eyes and my heart to see HIM!

Don’t believe those lies, ladies! They are like poison to your mind, heart and soul! I want you to read this paragraph out loud. I pray you read it and believe it.

I am so loved! I am so loved by GOD and by others! I have never been worthless and I will NEVER be worthless. I am worth something! I am absolutely beautiful! I am a beautiful creation by God! Satan cannot and will not convince me otherwise! 

I could probably write you 50 more sentences in that paragraph, but just take those words there and let them sink in. These are ALL true about YOU!!!

Don’t let those lies take over you! (again preaching to myself also) It is a HUGE battle to not be convinced by lies, but it is an even bigger battle when you have let yourself be convinced and you then have to somehow cut those puppet strings to free you from the bondage Satan puts you in.

God is so good! I am so blessed! I say this because it is so true and because I am thankful for the testimony He has given me. It has shaped me into who I am today and continues to. I used to think that the scars on my wrist were going to constantly remind me of the pain I went through. That is kind of true…the scars do remind me of the pain, but in a way that tells me that I don’t want that pain again. It also is a reminder that these scars remind me of the love God has for me. There is a song written by Shannon Wexelburg, titled “These Scars” that says, “These scars remind me of the love you have for me. Were it not for you where would I be? For these scars, point me to the cross of Calvary.  I bare them in your name and I won’t be ashamed of these scars.” 

Absolutely beautiful song! 

I want to end this post by praying for all of you and with a song. The words are so powerful in this song and I hope you take the time to listen to it!

Heavenly Father, I pray for anyone reading this post today and any other women out there who are listening to the lies. Remind them of how loved they are! Help them to be released from any past mistakes they have made that have left them with physical, spiritual, emotional or mental scars. Life can be painful and messy, but help them know that we can always trust in YOU and you LOVE us! You are so good to us! Give us all strength to fight Satan and his lies! Thank you for protecting us and loving us in spite of everything! In Jesus name, Amen